I previously wrote an entry about Kim Hyun Joong being possibly the ultimate bias, but now I can officially call the case closed...
I've been meaning to write this entry but had been distracted by other things, it's really been busy lately.
But yes, I've come to realise, that although deep down I had instincts that it wasn't going to turn out as strong an admiration as I was willing to give it the chance, I doubted myself and pushed myself to give Kim Hyun Joong the chance. Surprise surprise, my intuition had told me that something was not right way before I found out for real.
He's too shy and unable to stand up for his beliefs, he's slow reacting. And although I dislike rash and rowdy guy's who just stand up for everything and anything (as if to pick a fight), I don't particularly think someone so quiet or indecisive is manly, thus he is NOT the epitome of a man despite his appearance.
Yes he's sweet, very caring and gentle and even cute at times. But it just wasn't right, not for the place he was 'fighting' for, the top of my biases.
During this time away from most of my biases and not thinking about who they are or what they mean to me... I slowly drifted back to where I think I belong... a loyal fan of Saga.
His music, his passion and sincerity seeps through his music and playing and catches me every time. And having experienced friendships and just relationships of all sorts with different people, I come to realise that someone who you CAN love isn't someone perfect, but someone who's perfectly imperfect:
someone who's imperfections do not annoy you because they are who they are, someone who has imperfections that are even adorable at times or amusing.
And it's true, for friends, lovers, family... they may be doing something you hate the most, but because of who they are and what they mean to you, you just can't hate them, put up with them, or even love them for it and laugh at them.
And that's what people who mean the most to me are like... including Saga. Some of my closer friends know, that Saga-sama makes me cringe, embarrassed and even dig a hole right there and then when he says things embarrassing or frankly stupid.
But no matter what he does, I don't hate it, I may find it difficultly embarrassing but it's cringingly adorable in his dorky way. Had it been anyone else, I wouldn't even stuck around to cringe.
So, yes I'm back... and no longer do I need to doubt my own instincts, intuition or pure admiration for people or anything, because once again, I've proved to myself that, I really do understand myself subconsciously more than I admit.
And I don't think that anyone could replace the place Saga has taken in my heart, as a musician and as a person. Even if I tried, I think some how, I would return loyally to where I was. There's just so much, too much that I agree with him on, about music, about life, and just living. He's more than just eye candy, more than just an idol, he's an idol on life, on existing... there's so much to admire in him. For me personally anyways.
It's a good thing that one can find someone agreeable, bit it someone they know or know of. It's a good assurance that YOU can be who YOU want and someone out there will agree in one way or another.. you'll never be alone, even if you are completely unique. So don't be afraid to be YOURSELF and keep IMPROVING to be yourself (*^^*)
So girls, boys, everyone... allow yourself to follow your heart most of the time because if you force yourself to go in the opposite direction, you'll just go full circle back round *^^* Sometimes, some things just can't be dealt with logically. (*^x^*)
〜おわり〜
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