Journey to the North...

The view from my hotel room: The Royal Liver Building

I'm back from the British Academy of Management conference, an international conference which was held in Liverpool this year.

Stop the clock...

Time has flown by, and so much has happened but yet at the same I feel like barely anything has changed...

I haven't been writing much, simply I felt there was little to say, and perhaps things I wanted to say felt wrong to disclose. I think the last time I had written was in July, briefly, and the time before that was in May. I can't believe it's September already.

Escaping Rainy Days

I'm off! Last day tomorrow!
So after a manic... few months? I'm escaping the temperamental weather here.

Duck? Duck? No. Goose!

Cute wild Canadian geese and goslings going for a walk on the campus...

Taken by me (*^^*)

Simple pleasures to make the day go by...

Little things that make a day in the office a little less boring...

It is soothing to know that simple things can really make you smile and lighten up your day. We should always make time for these little things and not rush through our lives lest we miss out on the little doses of happiness we can get in life (*^^*)

My Surprise from Nippon..

So this came today... from Mr. Postman..
My first Alice Nine poster!! And a Saga one at that!!!!!  \(*^0^*)/
For once a handsome guy lands on my doorstep at my university.... literally but not a real guy (_ _;)

Actually this came from my friend in Japan *giggles* so I must thank her m(_ _)m for thinking of me and sending such a sweet gift through the post which must have confused the hell out of my department and who ever deals with post hahaha...

Sometimes The Sun Does Shine

The weather here has been crazy; sometimes sunny and then cloudy, then sunny again and a sudden hailstorm! It just won't make up its mind!
And even when it does, the temparature is not exactly warm. The odd one day it was warm: 16 degrees celsius. But usually it's quite windy and chilly.

But when the sun does shine.. it's rather pretty... (*^~^*)

My campus

Rainy Days and Coffee...

The weather here has generally been miserable.
Much rain, icy cold days many degrees under zero, sometimes snow.

Burnt Out Eyes (X_X)

Hey there,

Is everyone ready for Xmas? I'm sure needing a break!


So what has been happening lately? Well not much as you can gather. I haven't been able to update this blog for a while... it's been busy.

I have been doing data analysis for the past... almost 3 months and I have seriously burnt my eyes out. Working stupid hours of between 10-16 hours straight on the computer everyday, dealing with hundreds of data entries don't do your eyes any good, no matter how much sleep you (try to) get. I'm definitely needing a good week of sleeping non-stop, at least!

Although I had an opportunity to be a journalist and wrote my first commentary to be publish... (*^^*) So there were some perks along the way... even if I feel like death warmed up by the end of it!

The eclipse has passed...

After several days of calm consideration, the darkness has finally lifted.
I was reminded that I should never have to tolerate something that is unfairly targeted at me, that I should never have to deal with people that waste my time and efforts and above all, should never be unjustly hurt by people.

I have reflected, just like the moon in the water and I sought to find my wrong-doings. But just as the water is clear, I have a clear conscience.

And thus, I will return to being myself. I will not allow people to assume that I can be walked all over and become their puppet.

A time of darkness?...

And so I am back.

Tired but all in one piece from the battle.

Today was a massive ‘take me apart’ fest. On one hand they say ‘don’t take it personally’ but on the other hand you’re sat there in the hot seat with 20 odd students throwing assumptions, accusations, condescending and patronising ‘constructive criticism’ at you.

Being a student representative trying to prove my worth I swallowed my pride and listened. I was trembling slightly from the adrenaline rush hearing all these accusations and having resistance that comprised of the majority of the students. It was very difficult to prove myself when people are trying to pick bones from an egg and making mountains out of a molehill. No matter what I do, I cannot please them. When there is a resistance of such scale, no matter how righteous one is, it’s almost impossible to remain in such position… it is perhaps inevitable to step down one day if there's no way of changing their attitudes towards you.

However, right now I feel as though I’m cornered. Whilst I want to prove myself by being myself, I don’t want to have to tolerate all this. It is clear that even though these things are apparently ‘not personal’, that they are. That they are undermining and daring me, either to step down in defeat or by wrapping myself around their little finger.

I know it’s a political game, but I refuse to do it for the sake of playing by the game and being fake to people, socialising out of pretence. I’m not such person with a charade.

I won’t admit defeat but I am not obliged to tolerate such psychological bullying.

I didn’t sign up for this rubbish.

It’s neither a beginning nor the end. It’s approaching an eclipse, where things stand in the dark for some time….

Who knows what will happen.

Let’s just see how things go…

Heading into battle alone...

In the past month, I have been unable to write as I was extremely busy.

Each day I was faced with deadlines and people chasing for work in shorter and shorter periods of time.

I was working between 10-16 hours a day on my work at home.

Although it was tough, it didn't bother me much and I was glad to be excused from the PhD office.

Upon my return I was back in the battlefield, or more precisely another battlefield, and the most difficult of all; the socio-political battlefield.

For months now I have been tolerating people undermining me, questioning my competences, condescending attitudes and discrimination for being apparently "young and inexperienced" and various other personal remarks which I will not repeat here. I have been patient, tolerant and forgiving. 

I won't deny that I have been an achiever on this course, but it has never been due to luck or chance.  And being the youngest in the office until very recently, I have had to put up with a mixture of reactions from my so called colleagues about my existence. I don't go out to provoke nor do I put up a haughty front. In fact I keep myself to myself and am rather nonchalant although not unfriendly.

There's a chinese idiom "無敵是最寂寞" ~ To be without an enemy is the loneliest. 

This idiom perhaps portrays the loneliness one experiences when you have no one who understands you because you have reached places they haven't yet; when you've climbed that mountain and you're standing on the top, no one else will know what you're seeing... so they won't understand.

Indeed being currently the highest achiever in the PhD office for my year, it does prove difficult for others to approach me or be convinced that in fact I do not care nor judge. However it is far from lonely, isolated yes, but I'm not lonely. Far from it.

I thrive on my solitude. 

I hunt alone; my own goals, my own strategies, and eventually my own achievements.

I fight my battles alone.

I never chose it to be that way, but since I was young fate has forced me to hold my own or at least learn to. And here I am. The more you doubt me, force me into an hostile environment, the stronger I become.

My first week out of the house to the office for weeks since the start of my project that had forced me to become reclusive and confine myself to the four walls of my room, I return last week to discover that the office 'situation' has exacerbated.

Factions and cliques are becoming obvious, if not absolutely blatent. Members whispering in groups and plotting, everyone involved but myself. Call me paranoid but it's one of those hunches you can't really get wrong. I ignored it since of course there's no proof, even with members of staff noticing the weird behaviour occurring in the office. And lo behold I receive an email minutes later, calling for a group meeting. I sense a revolution, a plot to scrape me off my feet, and make me fall.

I have 'progressed'!!

I know it's been a while, but as I have said in my previous post, I had a major exam to prepare for.

An exam that will determine my career; decided in one hour! You get instant feedback straight away, so you know whether you passed or failed (as waiting for the official announcements means waiting for all the committee boards to be notified and approve of it, so you'll be hanging around wasting time). Instant death situation!!!

So I was reading and reading and preparing all I can for it. Thus, my lack of activity on here. I simply didn't really have much to report on, apart from my pile up of various work whilst I 'studied'.

Every one else's 'viva voce' or 'progression exam' lasted in and around 1 hour. How long was I in there for? 1 hour 40mins! (>.<;)

PhD Round 1...

Hello everyone!

It's been seriously busy, let me tell you why....

Back from conference!

Conference Venue

Hey everyone!


As you may have worked out, I am back from the conference/business trip I was on. It was tiring and stressful (only because I don't like socialising and schmoozing old cronies hahahaha). Otherwise it was wonderful!!!

I'm on Instagram now, finally. I had the app for two years and never used it. (*^0^*) that's typical me.
So now I'm photographing loads *^^* well, I haven't started doing it a lot more, I'm just publishing my photos now instead of letting them rot somewhere in a drawer or in a folder on my computer hehe!

So here are some photos from my Instagram of the conference venue and my hotel room, which had a kingsize bed!

Business Trip ~ Conference

Hey girls, guys and lil' ones!

I'm off on my first official business trip, to a conference for the British Academy of Management (*^^*)

So I've been busy packing and double checking I've not forgotten anything behind. Oh and preparing my notes for my presentation: it's going to be in this hall with a chairman at the back, oh boy haha.

It'll be fine and I'm sure my boss/colleague/supervisor has my back if I need it. We both talk like machine guns hahahahahaha. So I'm going to rock this world and blast the professors and geeky nerds to smitherines *^0^* hahaha.
I wonder how many PhD students are presenting... by the sounds of it not many PhD students (especially those who haven't even completed their first year) write papers...

Sun finally hits England... and I finally get hit by money!

Hey everybody!!

Long time no writing! Hehehehe. I hope you've all been well and haven't left this blog. I know I've neglected it a bit from my 'personal touch' (*^x^*) *giggles*. 

It's been rather manic on this end. I had several interviews with the big bosses as soon as I got back from my 'holiday' and now I'm frantically writing and editing for my deadlines. *^^* But it's ALL GOOD.

Good news is though I had a absolutely wonderful Birthday month and the sun has been shining like crazy this past week! We were all so worried that the UK won't have a summer this year since it's been raining non stop until this last week. But the sun finally has hit us and warming us all up *^^*

Oh and I've finally been told I've been awarded a Scholarship for my PhD! I'm exempt from fees AND I get some pocket money each year (*^.~*) 
(no I'm not telling how much that is *giggles*). It's for THREE YEARS! (*^.^*)

I was told that I was up against some tough competition in those interviews for the scholarship, including some Law students I saw outside in the waiting room... I saw some seriously tall, macho looking confident guys in suits.

I'm also now Faculty Student Representative of the Faculty of Business and Law for PGR students (Post-Graduate Research). So that means turning up to committee meetings etc. I'm guessing it'll be mostly social events organising since us PGR lot don't complain much (*^.~*) hehehe. Parties, oh yes!

I have a major deadline in August and then a super major important exam in September. But that's not to mean I'm not partying (*^.^*) Well... my idea of fun and partying usually is to do with food... 

I adore this patisserie shop called Patisserie Valerie in the city centre. So many cakes and delicacies!!! MMMMmmmmmmmmm~   (o*^^*o)

The one on the left is a Citron Tart, all lemony and zesty fresh, and the one on the right is a Raspberry Tart which is a pile of juicy raspberries piled on top of an egg custard filled tartlet. Gorgeous stuff!

Life As A PhD Student... in the office.

Hey everyone! So here's a post for those who have no idea what I've been upto (*^^*).

Mainly this is for my friends, my Unnie and 妹ちゃん who haven't seen where I work yet, and so I'm posting some photos! *^^*

So. I'm a PhD student, and we all get allocated a desk (or basically choose one that isn't inhabited by coffee and paperwork hehe!) in this office and it's a shared office of around 20. Although most of them are now occupied, not everyone turns up to office.

It's quite interesting in the office despite we don't really see daylight (no difference there for me! Haha): I turn up just after 8 or 8:30am and don't leave the office until around 5pm to go home and do more paperwork (*^^*). 

It's REALLY like Emerald Publishing Department from Sekaiichi Hatsukoi (Anime). People rushing around, or there is a deadly silent atmosphere and you can almost see the steam emitting from peoples brains, computer etc. It can get rather stressful and it feels like some people are about to die and turn into zombies working on their projects.

Hehehe! But it's not all that bad; on good days (when the cycle of morale has gone back to being good, having solved all the problems previously faced on their papers) colleagues treat us to lots of Hot Chocolate and Coffee \(*^^*)/ やった

Possible future meeting with MIYAVI... As a Business Management PhD student!?

今晩は皆さん!!!
お元気ですか？(^з^)
So, what have I been doing lately?
I've began my journey to become a Doctor of philosophy in the field of Business Management, more precisely, Strategic Management. So all day I'm in the office listening to J-rock whilst printing, organising and reading/annotating hundreds of papers: journals, articles and literature.

One of the senior lecturers of my department has offered me additional guidance and kindly invited me for coffee and casual discussions. What I knew was that, he is currently doing research (thus, work) for EMI the record company. So of course, I was glad to meet him and get to know more of his expertise and work. What I didn't know was.... He may have the opportunity to see Miyavi. Yes, Miyavi. The samurai guitarist from Tokyo, originally signed to PSCompany.

Earlier today, he and my director of studies were having coffee and asked me to join them. And soon enough, music became the topic. Then the senior lecturer asked me if I knew of Miyavi. I was totally shocked that it didn't process. It was too surreal that I was hearing it right. "Of course!! I'm a huge fan!" was the eventual stuttered answer . What surprised me even more was that, he thought Miyavi was amazing and loved his music!!! His colleague had met him in Tokyo which Miyavi went from one side of town to anther just to meet him and have coffee. Unsurprisingly, Miyavi turned out to be a super sweet down to earth guy.

The ultimate topic of the conversation was... My senior lecturer would let me tag along (even as a porter, bag carrier, personal assistant etc) with him if he meets Miyavi in London in the near future!!!! Amazing. It's like a dream come true.